Gameday Experience, part III of ?

Wake up this morning and I receive a letter from Joseph, good times. He hits at exactly what I’m feeling too right now – even though he’s one thousand miles away.

All those present will remember that it is a beautiful November day… we show up behind Mariucci around 11:45 and I take off to the Chapter for a brief fraté experience to get that out of my system.

The signs of these brief experiences will come full circle now. The advertisers have me; I recognized this long ago. Giving them mention here only reaffirms this. Section 129, good student section seats. Arrival at gametime…

Two games ago we got there an hour early for initial warm-ups and were a few rows back.

Let me tell you why this is, Mr. Maturi.

Let’s combine Gopher veterans being honored with an Applebee’s “After the Game Plug.”

Cenex tells us, “Let’s get energized, Gopher Fans.” Give us something to be energized about, Mr. Giant CHS spokesman-guy.

The Land O Lakes Football Toss. Old Dutch Spin and Win. Dodge “Song of the Game,” as decided through a text server business, inflating the price of our tickets. Today I went for free. The first game $25, last time $20 when tickets were still at $70 on Facebook marketplace.

In case you didn’t know, Goldy is a TCF Bank Cardholder. “Show your card” to prove what? That you’re capable of the creepiest piece of marketing ever not witnessed? Free reign for the perverted camera crews to have legitimate reason to zoom in on the beautiful drunk people.

Dodge is also the official vehicle of Gopher Athletics. When I worked for Gopher Athletics, I drove a beat up Chevrolet 1500 Silverado.

Dodge also provides our short attention spans with a convenient instant replay.

The scoreboard goes something like this. A familiar M on top of TCF Bank Stadium, with permanent “Coca-Cola” to the left and “DQ” to the right below this arching bank logo.

Coca-Cola cedes to less-prominent contributors: Radisson University, the “Gopher’s Proffered Hotel,” Target, Boston Scientific. Below the DQ, Dodge makes another appearance, on top of Trusted Choice, Subway (“Eat Fresh”), and the less-prominent Golden Gopher Fund, which sounds quite nebulous. It switches. Tires Plus, Dodge, Doherty, CDI, Mills Fleet Farm… it all subliminates into one big pixel.

Cub. Best Buy. TCF Bank, in case we had forgotten.

The Sun Country “Best Seats of the Game.” The hometown airline… Chex Mix “Ultimate Tailgate.” Toshiba. Leading Innovation. Smart Value Everyday at Holiday. Life: Live it Well- Blue Cross Blue Shield MN. Blizzard of the Month. Something about Securian Financial.

The constant messages from the advertisers overwhelms the game. Don’t blame the deer opener, or lack of student excitement, or the weather. Blame the subliminal overload. Don’t blame Brewster. Don’t blame the 2x4 swinging athletes. Blame the TCF Bank’s one-hundred ten convenient locations. I’ll see you at Applebee’s after the game, everyone. Let’s end this recession together…